The Chinese Love Affair. A Conversation.
Monday, June 1st, 2009“China and I had a stormy, steamy love affair right from the start. It’s also one of those you don’t lightly forget and one that taught you the most.”
I first arrived Shanghai in November 2006 for Ad:tech; swang open the hotel curtains first thing in the morning expecting an amazing city landscape. As much as it was a majestic site, the city was begging to come out of the smog it was wrapped up in. I let out a loud sigh and wondered how people could live here.
“I know he is not good for me, but there is something about him”
I lived between the two lovers; Hong Kong and Shanghai for 6 mths; two apartments, two kitchens, two wardrobes. I got fed up with not knowing where my wigs were, so I wrapped up my live in HK and moved permanently to Shanghai.
He had this phenomenal allure, I admit. It’s a unique sensation to live in a Chinese city which till today delivers the romance of the British rule (iconic buildings, The Bund), post-French joie de vivre (cabarets and whorehouses) and Shanghai history of communism and present consumerism; all wrapping a city we so love to call names. Culturally, Shanghai is no Tokyo, but outshines Singapore or HK. It’s all too often you open “City Weekend” or Facebook’s event invites to find yourself making tough choices of how the weekend could go.; covering it all; from artsy movies to big expos, from John Legend to your own friends jamming on a Sunday night. “So yes, you see, there was something about him.”
“He’s good to me, sometimes”
He is. He really was.
No other place has allowed me to grow more as a professional as much as China has. Working on the biggest brands, with the brightest clients, learning the ropes from the best in the field, pushing you and themselves in the omnipresent spirit of “China is the best, we are the best, you must be the best”. You feel it, eat it daily, it becomes your China DNA. The Middle Kingdom reliving its moment with her people; all ambitious, entrepreneurial, hungry for knowledge and proud. Then there is the sheer mind-blowing market size, uniqueness, numbers, more numbers that dwarf any other excitement you have ever experienced. Our new agency owners liked it too, so we sold the company, a rewarding end of my 8 intense advertising years.
No other place has allowed me to develop and cement the intensity of friendships the way Shanghai has. Friendships with my own boss, a few clients and especially with my two gay friends who got so weaved into the China fabric I would feel naked without them. Can I even imagine living the Shanghai experience without having met them? A glass half-empty.
No other place attracts a spectrum of colourful people the way Shanghai does. I’m just looking at my own surroundings; painters, studio owners, internet start-ups, music producers, writers, wig exporters, dancers, musicians, band members, club owners, furniture designers, graphic designers, gig organizers, management consultants, more agency folks. People who company sent to China and people who sent themselves here to seek realization of their dreams and creativity. Lost souls, opportunists, run-aways, visionaries, salary-folks, creators, instigators and inspirers.
“Did you say “sometimes”? That’s tricky. Perhaps you should dump him.”
“Some-times” means “other times” are not good. I created a list of the shitty things about this lover so I don’t forget and force myself to move on when ready. It worked.
The list is long but I won’t quote it here. It’s angry, it’s unresolved and it’s passé now.
But so that you know, I had my tough moments.
It started with Shanghai’s wet winter cold that shatters your bones. The air pollution was killing my poor over-sensitive lungs. Then, a day came I got a toxic car fume poisoning from a tunnel ride. I cried in the cab. The political system of propaganda, no transparency and treating people like children were all too reminiscent of the communist years endured in Poland. With these came endless irritations, which no matter how much I tried to see as trivial, forgivable or temporary, they did not go away. The Sanlu milk scandal would flip me over in a conclusion that everybody is inhuman here. The lack of general logic in most daily occurrences would make me cringe and vent for a day. The indifference to human suffering (baby falls out of a window, nobody responds, a friend sees a man killed by a taxi, nobody reacts) makes you see them all as insensitive bastards now only responsive to advertising and over-consumerism. From there, it’s only a downward spin when even the good now looks ugly.
I became bitter, like never before.
He brought out the worse in me. “Perhaps I should dump him. You were right”.
And I did.
But as love affairs go, the affection is still there. The magic remains. I will just have to learn how and when to play the tricks on him.
Or…. or… or… fall in love again.
With somebody else.